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Просмотр темы (новые вначале)
29.03.2019 23:54
Che
18.07.2015 08:35
JIuca
01.05.2015 23:22
ileana Q: What is at the end of everything?
A: The letter G.

Q: How does the ocean say hello?
A: It waves.

Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
01.05.2015 21:36
JIuca It's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog.
16.02.2015 21:35
JIuca Roses are red, violets are blue.
If he's busy on Valentines Day,
the side chick is you!
30.08.2014 10:27
JIuca -Bro I have 32 bit Windows 7.
I need 64 bit to game. How to get 64 bit?
Will I get it if I install it twice?

-Yes, install twice.
You will also get Widows 14.
06.04.2014 12:19
JIuca Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?
A: Beer
***

A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day and asks, “Dad, am I a pure polar bear—you know, not part black bear, brown bear, or grizzly bear?”

“Why no, son. You come from a long line of proud and strong polar bears. Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m fuckin’ cold.”
***

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
30.03.2014 18:28
JIuca A man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred.
The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?”
“No,” he replied, “I’ve never done either.”
“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?” inquired the doctor.
“No, I’ve never done any of those things either.”
“Well then,” said the doctor, “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?”
25.03.2014 10:54
JIuca
English Jokes

Santa’s Army
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. Pastor said, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend said, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?” He whispered back, “I’m in the Secret Service.”

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